How to Let Go of the Past | How your Childhood Affects your Adulthood
Have you ever wondered how much your childhood affects your adulthood? In this video, Life Coach KJ Simpson reveals the 3 questions you need to ask yourself if you want to let go of the past.
Hey friend, KJ Simpson here, author of the Amazon number one bestseller, The All Inclusive Diet. I help people cultivate energy, restore balance, and keep the weight off.
Have you ever wondered how much your childhood has affected your adulthood? So, the way that you were brought up, the way that your parents brought you up, how much does that play out in your life today and how much does it affect you, sort of what happened or maybe what didn’t happen?
I did this really cool exercise with the master mentor and motivator, Mr. Tony Robbins, and it asked three questions that really had me identify, you know, what happened in my childhood and how that is showing up today, and I want to share it with you. If you want to take this seriously, you want to get the maximum value out of it, get a piece of paper and a pen and jot down these three questions and do this exercise with me, and I’m going to give you the examples of the answers from myself and from my childhood and you do your own, so then we can reflect afterwards.
Question number one: who’s love did you crave the most when you were a child? Was it your mother or was it your father? I can tell you that it was always my father. He’s the one that I modelled after. I tried to imitate him. I remember when I was maybe, probably three or four years old. That’s when I started noticing just how much I looked up to my father and how much I wanted to be like him. He was a construction worker and he did a lot of time on the road and you know, sometimes he wouldn’t be back for a whole week and I’d really miss him, and I’d know that he was coming home maybe on a Friday for example, and I used to put on this undershirt, this white undershirt because that’s what he used to wear to work and construction, so I would put my little tee shirt on as well, my undershirt essentially, like a tank top, and I would sit on the balcony. We lived in an apartment building, and I would just wait for him, wait for him to come up in the big construction truck, and I would be excited beyond belief, and that’s really how I identified with my father and he was somebody that I wanted to grow up and model after.
Question number two: who or what do you think you needed to be in order to get the love that you think you deserve from either your mother or your father? So, you know, what did you have to do, what kind of behaviours were looked at positively, where you got that positive reinforcement, that pat on the back that perhaps you needed? Who did you think you needed to be? You needed to be a star student, you needed to be a star athlete. Who or what do you think you needed to be in order to be deserving of that love that you so desperately craved from either your mother or your father?
Question number three: how has that belief shaped you today and made you the person that you are today? If you can get really self-reflective here and take a look at that, I can tell you from my own personal experience, I think my father wanted me to be perfect, and that’s just based on the things that he would say. Even though I grew up with this belief, I soon realized that perfection does not exist and that I can only be better than I was yesterday.
Take some time to reflect upon these three questions and see if they are applicable to your life.
Inspire to aspire.
Kris J Simpson
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